Wednesday, August 17, 2016
HELP AFTER SEX WORK
I got a call today on the hotline from someone saying "I don't ever think of going back to sex work BUT I am having these issues no one seems to understand or know what to do about. . . "
I told her we are "not like Alcoholics Anonymous. Their program is for someone with a DISEASE. Prostitution, sex work, etc., is NOT a "disease". Therefore, many of our members have no desire to return to the old ways.
However, we are more like "Artists Anonymous" or "Divorce Anonymous", in that we do share a common desire to not only leave, and not return to sex work, but further we share a desire to find "recovery".
Just as an alcoholic can be a "dry drunk" without recovery - we too can suffer from "whore mentality". Meaning we need to go through a spiritual transformation. As an example of this type of thing - look at all these so called "ministries" where ex-strippers, ex-hookers, etc., set up ministries where they're not only going into strip clubs and brothels directly doing outreach (AA does NOT go into bars and pull drunks off stools into their meetings), but they further conduct their "outreach" as a social club. They don't put any restrictions on the people they're reaching out to to exit the industry. In fact, they hang out routinely with these women who are actively working.
They EVEN do things like bail them out of jail, pay for their dental work, baby sit their kids, throw BBQ's for them, and all sorts of other things to show "Christ's love" for them. Only without asking them to exit the industry. Now from my perspective, if you're going into bars and pulling drunks off stools, inviting them into your home without requiring them to stop drinking (i.e., meaning they're drunk), then paying their bail, their medical bills, and helping you to avoid the negative consequences of sex work - then I ask you "WHY would they quit?"
If you take an alcoholic who just had a DUI and you pay for his bail, get him an attorney, go to court with him, etc., and then you don't require them to stop drinking in order to provide help - then not only are you removing the incentive for them to exit sex work, but you are essentially now saying you're sober while hanging around a bunch of drunks and going in and out of bars.
Especially when they take it to the next level of asking society to pay for them to set up a "recovery home" while going in and out of these strip clubs. The damage done to someone requiring a recovery home means those who did the damage should be paying for it. Not innocent society who has been paying the bill for us in our disease.
Meaning make the strip club owners, the madams, the strippers, etc., pay for the safe house. Just like actors and musicians set up retirement homes for when they know they might need one.
But going into bars, brothels, massage parlors, strip clubs, etc., and "hanging out" to "show love", inviting them over socially, paying their bills, hanging out with them, getting them out of trouble with the law, all without requiring them to quit that lifestyle, and without forcing them to feel the consequences of our actions - then asking society to pay for the house for them to get residential help without asking the industry itself to set up this type of program - well that's not "recovery". That's someone living the life of a sex worker!
It's also "enabling" them to continue. What stripper wouldn't love for you to come over and take care of their bills, fix their legal issues, hang out with them, etc., all without requiring them to make any lifestyle change IS "enabling" them. It's also the way someone who can't leave the lifestyle acts.
We also have what we've dubbed "post prostitution syndrome". Now THAT is something we definitely have seen dramatic improvement over in members who come to our program. You can hear more about that -
So if you have the desire to not return and to "recover" - then you can call our hotline at (702) 488-1127. www.sexworkersanonymous.com